Writing in form

with special reference to ghazals & alliterative verse (a double dialogue)

“Really nice article here about the difficulties in using a form like the ghazal in English -- that it's really important to adapt forms so they play to the languages strengths.” —@rhunedhel.bsky.social

What Goes Wrong When we Write Ghazals in English

My response: i've written many kinds of ghazals, looking for ways that work. in my opinion that's how using imported (or invented) forms can lead you into unexplored territory, as it should--not: arriving at a regular destination, or effect.

“I make a similar point about alliterative verse in this article:

Varieties of Alliterative Meter “ —ibid

1.

...likewise, in writing alliterative verse, one can aim at an overall preponderance of one mode (a-a-a-x), with a variable admixture of others (a-a-x-a & x-a-a-x, ktp), & this admixture itself can vary according to what is being said.

to my mind, it is the fact of having a caesura, & to a lesser degree, two beats before & after, that signify--to the ear--this form. if enough of the words alliterate, good. what if you consistently only alliterated one word before the caesura & one word after, never mind which beat? that would (for me) still sound like alliterative verse.

even, having three beats to a half-line, once in a while, doesn't hurt. (--or only one--.)

i would say at least 3/4ths of all songs in english contain, to some degree, that structure. they've just put the chiming at the ends of even numbered lines. (if you changed those endwords to a synonym that isn't a rhyme, you can hear a structure that is intermediate between alliterative & rhymed verse. i was just watching a movie about hank williams:

"Your cheatin' heart · Will make you weep
You'll cry and cry · And try to sleep [snooze]..."

Your cheatin' heart · Will do you harm

You'll cry and cry · And try to crash...

2.

now, about that rising rhythm. trochaic verse exists in english, plenty of it (there's a hundred heavy metal songs in the tetrameter form: "Generals gathered in their masses...") & in fact, due to the free use of catalexis, it's not uncommon (in verse written before the New Formalists, who failed to understand this feature) to have trochaic lines in iambic poems & iambic lines in trochaic poems. the place that determines a line's rising or falling state, often, is the final word of the line--but it shifts once you start having "feminine rhymes", more & more of them--& Leonard Cohen, for example, has a number of songs where any feminine ending is enough to fill this place:

"Suzanne takes you down · to her place near the river

You can hear the boats go by · you can spend the night beside her

And you know that she's half-crazy · but that's why you want to be there..."

Suzanne takes you down · to her digs near the river

You can hear the boats go by · you can bank on sleeping with her

And you know that she's half crazy · from the crack she keeps on smoking...

3.

Thought experiment: what if you alternated a-a-a-x alliteration with a-a-x-a, regularly?ghazal article